Tag Archives: girl talk

Bras & John Stamos.

5 Feb

 

For your Tuesday pleasure….A mini convo I had the other day with a lady bitty….

“I’m going let you in on a little secret. See this big Hawaii sweatshirt I am wearing? I used to have another one that had pretty Christmas Hawaiian flowers on it but got rid of it…Anyway; the reason why I am wearing this is because I have decided that I am no longer going to wear a bra around here. I want to relax my boobs. For years I have worn wired bras and the one side has always been irritated. Since I do not have a boy toy to massage it, I will just go without.” – Bitty 

“Well you could always find a boy toy….” – Me

“I don’t have that kind of money to be paying for one. Though it would be very, very nice to have one. You know, I keep buying that Greek Yogurt they advertise yet the man in the commercial never pops up.”   – Bitty

“John Stamos?” – Me

“Whatever his name is. My God he’s dreamy.” – Bitty

 

 

XoXo –

Eldest.

 

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I like big butts and I cannot lie….

16 Jan

                 Several of the bible study ladies were chattering away about this or that.  While I was getting some water (trying to drink 8 glasses a day which is has been difficult for me to do) I overheard one of them comment that I “looked cute today” (I am wearing a sweater dress). I let them know that the only reason why I was wearing a dress was because all of my pants were dirty or wrinkly and since I loathe ironing and have been too lazy to do laundry, I had to wear a dress. One of the bitty’s stated that if she were “little” like me, she would wear the outfits I wear to work. I shrugged my shoulders admitting I didn’t think I was little and that I have a rather large/wide butt that I got from my mom’s side (well more like my Mom and Grandma but whatever). Another bitty chimed in stating that my “ass was not big” and that my “ass was high and firm which all the boys like” and that she “wished” she had a butt like that. Knowing I’d get a good response from it, I asked her if she wanted a butt like Kim Kardashian’s. The lady made a disgusted face and said “That girl is trash. Everything about her makes me sick. I know they x-rayed her ass. I still think it’s fake, fake, fake.” The bitty then stated as soon as I get to be their age, everything “drops…your ass, your boobs, your face, everything….” She then pointed to her chest stating that her “one boob hangs lower than the other one. It’s like a juggling act over here.”  ….The rest of the bitties giggled quite a bit at that comment  and I just politely sat there, dying inside (naturally).

“Au naturel, baby. That’s how I like them.

Swing low, sweet chariots.” – Creed Bratton

X.x.X

Eldest.

Baby dolls, nighties, panties…Oh my!

20 Jul

During one of our evening discussions, L and I (for some reason or another) were talking about the difference between what she wears, “baby dolls,” and what I wear “nighties,” when it comes to bedtime attire. Knowing that I would probably get a good explanation out of her, I decided to ask her what the differences between the two were. L looked at me like I was a dummy (a word she commonly uses) stating that her “baby dolls” are “cute” and are short bottoms and tops that cover “everything.” She then explained that she could never wear a nightie because she moves around at night and the nightie would ride up on her, showing her “business” and that she would need to wear a duster around the house. With my head tilted, I told her she would not have that problem if she wore underwear at night. L’s eyes grew very wide and she appeared to be appalled of what I just suggested to her. With her eyes still as wide as could be, she asked me if I wore “panties” to bed at night. Nodding, I stated that I did. Shaking her head she asked me if I had always been “that way.” I explained that when I was younger my sisters and I had spent numerous summers at my Grandma Kook’s house and a lot of times we would wear her nightgowns. Kook would say to my sisters and me something along the lines of having our lady bits needing to air out – so I just kind of went with it. I then told L that I now wear “panties” to bed but mentioned I knew quite a few people who don’t. L interrupted saying she “does not wear panties when she wears her baby dolls.” She explained that she “needed to be ‘free’ and that her ‘husband’ would have to help her ‘undress’ when he makes love to me.” Giving her yet another babbled look (think Jim’s face from The Office look), I told her she was crazy and that was a little TMI for me. L shrugged her shoulders, said ‘tough sh*t,’ and laughed. I then mentioned to her that I did not have a husband (or lover for that matter) and that I did not have that problem. L nodded stated that I “was right but ‘that’ needs to be FREE!.”

Obviously, I need to take a poll on this awesome topic. I have a feeling that I am

TGIF!

xo,

Eldest.