Archive | Punny RSS feed for this section

PUNography Forward

24 Apr

We all know that each sister has a “thing” about them that makes them extra special.  Alison is stellar at starting new catch-phrases.  Meghan is the originator and obsessor of puns and I am the emperor of moves and groves and belting tunes.  By having two unique best friends, I have had the privilege on inheriting their many personality traits and integrate them as my own when they are not present. To many, I am the queen of puns and  present a sense of wittiness.  Little do most not know my little secret: I steal material from my sisters all the time!

With all of that being said, I took over Meghan’s obsession with puns.  Today I received a forward from a co-worker that is everything pun!  Enjoy and share your favorite.

—Anissa

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

A guy got arrested for playing the guitar.  He was fingering a minor.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.
Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.

I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
Be kind to your dentist.  He has fillings, too.