Archive | December, 2012

‘Tis the Season! Sh*t my Residents say….

19 Dec

So I walked into the office this morning and was greeted by several members of bible study. Here is what happened during my five minute conversation with them:

“Hi Ali!!!! How are you?” – Bitties

“Heeeeeey!!!! Oh I’m just fine. How are you kids?” – Me

The small talk continued on for a few minutes and then….

“Soooooo Ali…How’s your love life?” – Bitty

Shrugs shoulders. “Uh, it’s there. I mean…” – Me

“….Well she would obviously look radiant if she had someone in her life.” – Man bitty

This is the same man bitty that gave me shit a couple weeks ago about me never being in a good mood. Anyhoo, I gave him a fake smile/I want to destroy you right now look before I sweetly said….

“Oh Bitty (I said his name, I did not call him bitty)… I ALWAYS look radiant though.” – Me

I then slapped him on the back with my fake smile still on my face. The lady bitties laugh hysterically and tell him that I “really got him.” A lady bitty grew serious, telling me that I did not need a love but told me that I should get a cat to be my companion. Apparently my “Jim from The Office” look kind of gave how I was feeling away.  Another lady bitty told the other lady bitty that was “absurd” and that I needed to be married for “at least 10 years” before getting a cat. She then looked at me, smiled with excitement and told me as soon as I have a “lover” they will rent the clubhouse and celebrate. I shook my head taking this brief convo in. Not going to lie, I do not understand how a cat could replace a “lover” especially since I am not a cat lover to begin with…Hmmmm….

|I mean I could see this being me…Minus the cats….|

 

P.S.: Aaaaaand I was just told by a man bitty that he “f*cking hated me” and my boss just kicked him out of the office for also saying other sassy things about people in the clubhouse. The sad part of this, I don’t know what I did. I mean if I did something to make him f*cking hate me then perhaps this would all would make sense. But nonetheless as Charlie Harper would say in Two and Half Men…”Hmmmm.”

 

 

 ‘Tis the season bitches. #OmgThisJustDidNotHappen #IAmLaughingAndNotCryingWhichIsNeat #DoesThisMeanIHaveAHeartOfCoal

XxX, 

Eldest

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