Middlest’s Dear Diary Moments: 1-3

1 Aug

Anyone who has spent a good amount of time with me knows that I like to coin fantastic events in one’s life as “Dear Diary Moments”. I have been asked, “Do you actually keep a diary?” The answer is no, my friends. As a fawn I remember sitting at my desk thinking to myself, “I know I am ‘supposed’ to do this. What girl doesn’t have a diary?” Reading my “diary” from my early years captures my recess fights [“Oh my gosh diary, Megan E and I got into a fight today. I HATE HER!”]. In my horrifying adolescent years I would write about fingering parties that occurred at boys’ homes — therefore my stubborn and very shy self willed to avoid middle school and high school relationships at all costs. And then one day I realized that I absolutely hated writing my feelings down and would much rather internalize any conflict that may arise in my life. I recognize that is not an appropriate coping skill, but that’s fine. Now “Dear Diary Moments” are always positive & never stressful because well, fuck it; I don’t like stress.

Middlest’s Dear Diary Moments
1. I was 16 and I finally attended my very first Jewel concert. Yes, I was a weird child/adolescent that willingly listened to a woman who wrote acoustic jams about relationships I could not possibly relate to. I went with a group of gals (bless their souls) and we were running late. I remember specifically not caring about missing the opener. Sigh, such “Foolish Games”. We eventually got to the concert and hit the last half of the opener who was Joe Firstman. This was the DDM, my friends. My life was forever changed from the barefoot singer-songwriter. He swooned my sexuality and tugged at my heartstrings with powerful lyrics and the energy he radiated from the piano. [[Edit: Please, PLEASE check out “War of Women” by Joe Firstman]] I fell in love with singer-songwriters and my musical preferences made an utter 180º turn. I went from adoring spoon-fed top 40 radio to actively scouring the World Wide Web for lyrics that brought (and still brings) shivers down my spine and tears to my dry eyes. I formed relationships with an entire music community. I have only met a handful of these men & women, but I value their friendships beyond justification. Searching and “reading” new music became a hobby that I still thoroughly enjoy today. And I get super pissy if I am late for an opener; you never know who you will discover! Sigh. Such a good “Dear Diary Moment”.

2. As a college student studying in a corn field that rests on the outskirts of one of the most dangerous cities in America, I had a “I give zero shits” attitude about what I wore to class or to the local Walmart. It was bad, folks. I was a caught violator of going out to Meijer in (hahaha) yoga pants, a nightie, and flips flops with a long cable-knit sweater in January. I wore sweatpants and hooded sweatshirts to class almost daily. “Dressing up” was considered wearing a tight-fit teeshirt and flared jeans. Over winter break my junior year I was speaking with my friend AllyB about how much more convenient this apparel was compared to “legit” dressing up. She simply, without judgment, compared cardigans to hooded sweatshirts: easy to throw on and presents oneself as much more “put together” than one who dons a hoodie. To this day I own about 20 cardigans that I can just “throw on”, feel comfortable, and not look like a complete schmuck.

3. “Meghan, you have to pay your dues. Your dream job isn’t going to just show up simply because you got a degree.” My mother is one remarkable woman. When I graduated college, I was a spazz. I applied to at least 300 jobs in women’s health during the span of my first year as an RN. I cursed at every automated rejection email that was sent to me within 15 minutes of applying to a job. Every time I vented to my mom acting like a frustrated, entitled brat she would simply say, “Keep going…you’re paying your dues.” And that was enough motivation to take any RN job that was thrown my way while continuously tweaking my “women’s health” resumes & cover letters and constantly applying to women’s health postings. Eventually I got to where I am now: in women’s health, specifically post-partum (50% of my ultimate dream job). Thinking back, I would love to tell newly graduated Meghan to calm the fuck down; you are going to learn more about nursing in your less than ideal jobs than you ever imagined. I may not be 100% in my dream job, but I know that I am “paying my dues” and by working hard I will get there one day. I am so much more calm now than then, which makes me a much more pleasing person to my family. Paying your dues – such good. fucking. advice.



6 Responses to “Middlest’s Dear Diary Moments: 1-3”

  1. Sarah Wilder (@sarahwilder) August 2, 2012 at 6:33 pm #

    Meg, I’ve got a link for you. I will dropbox at some point. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YNA_veg6FA

  2. glitzandblitz906 August 2, 2012 at 9:33 pm #

    These ARE defining moments in our lives. The first two topics discussed, have even been a DDM for me as well – with MUCH influence on your end.

    “Pay Your Dues” – Mom is so good! That is why I work the way I do.

  3. Kady August 3, 2012 at 1:53 am #

    okay I didnt know you had a blog? like I’m freaking out right now!! god you should be a writer on the side. you’re fantastic

    • Meghan (@megAYCHan) August 4, 2012 at 10:22 pm #

      I disagree, but I appreciate your compliment! And I would have loved to witness your initial reaction when you discovered our blog.

  4. Ron Edwards October 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm #

    you are such a cutie pie! can I have a bit?

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