Sh*t my Residents Say…

12 Jul
  • One of my “newer” residents has a habit of coming into the office to visit with us pretty much every day…which is great. However, there are times where he gets a little impatient if you will and has a tendency to say things without a filter. Case in point:

“Come on you, motherf*cker.” – B

That is a direct quote that came out of his mouth after only waiting five minutes to “talk” to me. Apparently time is precious for him. This is the same resident who has blocked several visitors in the parking lot because they “took his spot.” Did I mention he is an ex-cop from Chicago?

  • During a coffee social, I had a resident tell me a story about what she did after a (male) resident cross her personal space:

“It was about a year ago. He kept telling me to “get out of the gutter” and “get off my knees” and kept rubbing my back and arms. So finally, I had to tell him to “Keep his G*d damn hands off of me.” I am an old lady. What the hell does he want from me? ” – G

  • While running around the property delivering, I saw another (new) resident sitting in the Circle of Friends by himself. I decided to briefly visit with him and to see how he was liking his new home. Before you know it, he asked this:
“How old are you?” – D
“Just turned 28.” – Me
“You are what we call an old maid….(Silence for moment).” – D
(Mouth drops. Stunned look is on my face). – Me
“Men have no respect for women. Don’t rush into anything.” – D
If that was not a confusing conversation in regards to my dating (or lack of) life, then I don’t know what is.
{Instead of cats, I will devote my life to dogs….}
  • I received a call several weeks ago from the EG Fire Department informing the office that one of our residents (our 102-year-old lady) had called them because she had burned her cherry pie in the microwave, causing a small “fire” in her microwave. He asked if someone could stop over to make sure the outlets and such were working. After putting in the work order, I decided to check on her at her apartment. I spent a good half hour calming her down (she was quite p*ssed to put it nicely) and asking her what had exactly happened. Instead of telling me the details, she decided to rip a new one about her neighbors saying things like:
“They are all useless here”….
……”I am never talking to these idiots again”
(My favorite) “The time that I actually need them to snoop in my life they aren’t around. I am done.”
burnt foods gifts, burnt foods gift, burnt foods merchandise, gifts for burnt foods, gift for burnt foods
She did ask me this:
“Are you Swedish?” – B
“Nope, I am a good chunk of French though.” – Me
“Oh. Well that’s too bad.” – B (smiles)
“Hmph.” – Me (makes a Jim face)
Before I left she thanked me and told me that it had meant a lot to her that I stopped over to make sure she was alright. Not more than fifteen minutes later one of the maintenance guys came in my “office” after looking at her kitchen outlets. He had explained to her that Ali had told him to come over to check everything out. This is what Blanche had to say:
” Ali, who the hell is Ali?!” – B
“She works in the office, B. She is the assistant manager” – Maintenance guy
“Oooooh! You mean Alison???” – B
 I sure hope I am as sharp as she is when I am 102-years-old.
  •  I had to tell one of my residents that he needed to calm down and that he is just stressing himself out more than he needs to (coming from me that is kinda of funny).  His response:
“KMA.” – J
“KMA? What the heck does that mean?” – Me
“Kiss me as*.” – J
“Hmph. Will have to remember to use that for the future.” – Me
Happy Thursday!

One Response to “Sh*t my Residents Say…”

  1. Kady August 3, 2012 at 2:04 am #


    I wish I was a champeau sister. can I be adoptedest????

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