Archive | July, 2012

Baby dolls, nighties, panties…Oh my!

20 Jul

During one of our evening discussions, L and I (for some reason or another) were talking about the difference between what she wears, “baby dolls,” and what I wear “nighties,” when it comes to bedtime attire. Knowing that I would probably get a good explanation out of her, I decided to ask her what the differences between the two were. L looked at me like I was a dummy (a word she commonly uses) stating that her “baby dolls” are “cute” and are short bottoms and tops that cover “everything.” She then explained that she could never wear a nightie because she moves around at night and the nightie would ride up on her, showing her “business” and that she would need to wear a duster around the house. With my head tilted, I told her she would not have that problem if she wore underwear at night. L’s eyes grew very wide and she appeared to be appalled of what I just suggested to her. With her eyes still as wide as could be, she asked me if I wore “panties” to bed at night. Nodding, I stated that I did. Shaking her head she asked me if I had always been “that way.” I explained that when I was younger my sisters and I had spent numerous summers at my Grandma Kook’s house and a lot of times we would wear her nightgowns. Kook would say to my sisters and me something along the lines of having our lady bits needing to air out – so I just kind of went with it. I then told L that I now wear “panties” to bed but mentioned I knew quite a few people who don’t. L interrupted saying she “does not wear panties when she wears her baby dolls.” She explained that she “needed to be ‘free’ and that her ‘husband’ would have to help her ‘undress’ when he makes love to me.” Giving her yet another babbled look (think Jim’s face from The Office look), I told her she was crazy and that was a little TMI for me. L shrugged her shoulders, said ‘tough sh*t,’ and laughed. I then mentioned to her that I did not have a husband (or lover for that matter) and that I did not have that problem. L nodded stated that I “was right but ‘that’ needs to be FREE!.”

Obviously, I need to take a poll on this awesome topic. I have a feeling that I am

TGIF!

xo,

Eldest.

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It Takes Two to Taco.

16 Jul

Fish & Shrimp Tacos with Cilantro Lime Rice, Crema, & Black Bean Parmesan. Click for fish & crema recipe

><º> Tonight’s meal blew us right out of the water. So much so, that we decided to write a blog about it mid-digestion. How did this miraculous meal came aboat, you ask? Let us lure you into our experience.

The evening started like any evening when Middlest and Youngest are home together for a meal. Youngest called Middlest and suggested to have fish tacos, as they had stale taco shells from two weekends prior.

, expressed Middlest – but she proceeded to be agreeable to this suggestion. Just like most fish-related dinners, Middlest scoured the internet for a palate pleasing recipe for fish tacos. Within two minutes, a recipe from MyRecipes.com really caught her [wall]eye.

Meanwhile, Youngest voyaged over to Aldi to pick up the only items they did not have in their fully-packed refrigerator: a tomato, avocado, and a bag of medium shrimp. She also bought a pair of pillows for $8.99. Hell yeah, Aldi – you wallet-friendly store!

Once Middlest and Youngest were reunited on Bradford, they began a-cookin’. Youngest was in charge of the black beans & shrimp. Her recipes were as follows:

Black Bean Parmesan.
1. Mash one can of drained black beans.
2. Mince one clove of garlic.
3. Add 2 tablespoons of dried cilantro.
4. Mix in 1/8 cup of parmesan cheese.
5. Crack pepper to taste.

Shrimp.
1. It’s all about the de-tailing! Remove tails from shrimp.
2. In medium sauce pan, add shrimp to 2 tablespoons of canola oil & 1/4 cup lime juice.
3. Stir in 1 teaspoon garlic powder and 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes.
4. Sauté on medium heat for 5 minutes or until shrimp curl.
5. Turn off heat & cover with lid for additional 5 minutes.

Middlest was in charge of the fish, sauce and rice. Recipes are as follows:

Fish.
1. Combine 1 tsp ground cumin, 1 tsp ground corriander, 1/2 tsp paprika, 1/4 tsp ground red pepper flakes, 1/8 tsp garlic powder in a bowl. Set aside.
2. Spray baking sheet [cover with aluminum foil for easy cleaning] with non-stick spray.
3. Take spice mixture and rub onto both sides of 2 Tilapia fish fillets.
4. Place onto aluminum foil and bake at 425º for 12 minutes.
5. Leave out to cool. Shred with fork.

Crema.
1. In a bowl, add 3 Tbs fat-free mayo and 3 Tbs reduced-fat sour cream.
2. Add in 1/4 cup minced green onion [tops and bottoms!] and 1/4 cup chopped cilantro [unfortunately we only had dry. Damn herb garden.]
3. Zest an entire lime and squeeze the juice. Add to mixture.
4. Mince 1 clove of garlic.
5. Mix, mix, mix!

Cilantro Lime Rice.
1. Prepare 1 cup of brown rice [One cup of rice to two cups of water]
2. Add 1/3 cup cilantro.
3. Stir in the zest of one lime and the juice of the lime.
4. Pepper and salt to taste.

There you have it! Simple recipes! Our condiments for the tacos were sliced avocados, diced tomatoes, & shredded artisan lettuce. Middlest found that adding some of the crema to the rice was a tasty treat. We’re very pond of these recipes! <º><

Sh*t my Residents Say…

12 Jul
  • One of my “newer” residents has a habit of coming into the office to visit with us pretty much every day…which is great. However, there are times where he gets a little impatient if you will and has a tendency to say things without a filter. Case in point:

“Come on you, motherf*cker.” – B

That is a direct quote that came out of his mouth after only waiting five minutes to “talk” to me. Apparently time is precious for him. This is the same resident who has blocked several visitors in the parking lot because they “took his spot.” Did I mention he is an ex-cop from Chicago?

  • During a coffee social, I had a resident tell me a story about what she did after a (male) resident cross her personal space:

“It was about a year ago. He kept telling me to “get out of the gutter” and “get off my knees” and kept rubbing my back and arms. So finally, I had to tell him to “Keep his G*d damn hands off of me.” I am an old lady. What the hell does he want from me? ” – G

  • While running around the property delivering, I saw another (new) resident sitting in the Circle of Friends by himself. I decided to briefly visit with him and to see how he was liking his new home. Before you know it, he asked this:
“How old are you?” – D
“Just turned 28.” – Me
“You are what we call an old maid….(Silence for moment).” – D
(Mouth drops. Stunned look is on my face). – Me
“Men have no respect for women. Don’t rush into anything.” – D
If that was not a confusing conversation in regards to my dating (or lack of) life, then I don’t know what is.
{Instead of cats, I will devote my life to dogs….}
  • I received a call several weeks ago from the EG Fire Department informing the office that one of our residents (our 102-year-old lady) had called them because she had burned her cherry pie in the microwave, causing a small “fire” in her microwave. He asked if someone could stop over to make sure the outlets and such were working. After putting in the work order, I decided to check on her at her apartment. I spent a good half hour calming her down (she was quite p*ssed to put it nicely) and asking her what had exactly happened. Instead of telling me the details, she decided to rip a new one about her neighbors saying things like:
“They are all useless here”….
……”I am never talking to these idiots again”
(My favorite) “The time that I actually need them to snoop in my life they aren’t around. I am done.”
burnt foods gifts, burnt foods gift, burnt foods merchandise, gifts for burnt foods, gift for burnt foods
She did ask me this:
“Are you Swedish?” – B
“Nope, I am a good chunk of French though.” – Me
“Oh. Well that’s too bad.” – B (smiles)
“Hmph.” – Me (makes a Jim face)
Before I left she thanked me and told me that it had meant a lot to her that I stopped over to make sure she was alright. Not more than fifteen minutes later one of the maintenance guys came in my “office” after looking at her kitchen outlets. He had explained to her that Ali had told him to come over to check everything out. This is what Blanche had to say:
” Ali, who the hell is Ali?!” – B
“She works in the office, B. She is the assistant manager” – Maintenance guy
“Oooooh! You mean Alison???” – B
 I sure hope I am as sharp as she is when I am 102-years-old.
 
  •  I had to tell one of my residents that he needed to calm down and that he is just stressing himself out more than he needs to (coming from me that is kinda of funny).  His response:
“KMA.” – J
“KMA? What the heck does that mean?” – Me
“Kiss me as*.” – J
“Hmph. Will have to remember to use that for the future.” – Me
Happy Thursday!
XoXo,
Eldest.