Divalicious!

18 Jun

“Listen up y’all, cause this is it
The beat that I’m bangin’ is divalicious”

Ladies. It’s time to talk about our menstrual cycle. I’ll just openly say this: it sucks. It absolutely sucks. Once a month (or once every three if you’re one of those lucky women) we shed an egg, bleed for days, and cramp like we just ate a crockpot o’ baked beans. Our hormones are out-of-whack and we are expected to go about our day-to-day lives with a positive attitude and smiles on our faces. And we should – having PMS does not give you the right to be a bitch to everyone you pass. I digress…mood swings warrant a different posting.

I’m going to introduce you to the single-handed most delightful menstrual product I own: The Diva Cup. I have had the Diva Cup for almost 4 months now and if it had feet, I’d be kissing ’em.

Here are a few reasons why I went from tampons, pads, and tissues to The Diva Cup:

  • Tampons. My heavy days were too heavy. I was constantly in the bathroom changing my tampons. After one heavy (heavyyy) day I immediately go to a medium-light flow, meaning mediums were too absorbent and lights warranted me to be in the bathroom every hour. By day 4 my twenty-something year old vagina felt like it aged 60 years. And every time I went to the bathroom, the downward pressure from “going” made the tampon push out to an uncomfortable spot. I was going through at least a dozen of unnecessary changes a day (ie. tampons were not saturated). Wrapping ’em up like a mummy was wasteful on toilet paper (but totally necessary. No one wants to see bloody tampons in the trash). And then there were times when I would enter my bathroom to see shredded tampons in my bathroom, bedroom, and hallway. Damnit, Scout – you adorable and disgusting pooch.
  • Pads. “But Meghan…what about pads?!” Well, friends – pads just weren’t cutting it either! I have thrown out so much underwear due to pads moving wherever they damn well pleased. Even Walmart packaged underwear was getting expensive. And although I work with babies, I did not feel like changing their diapers and mine throughout the night.
  • Toilet Paper. Yep. I’ve done it before. I’ve hated tampons and pads to the point where I would just bunch up toilet paper and shove it in-between my legs to get through a very light day. There’s a high level of anxiety with this: “Gosh, I hope my wad of toilet paper doesn’t fall out while I’m walking around in public.” And then there’s the actual wrapping of the tampon or pad, which felt so wasteful and expensive.

I initially heard about The Diva Cup from a friend in college. She just loved it. I wasn’t annoyed with tampons enough at the time to purchase the $34.00 feminine hygiene product, but The Diva Cup always stuck in the back of my mind. I was re-introduced to it by another dear friend of mine about 6 months ago. Again, the price tag made we weary about it. After a few conversations with said dear friend [and another puppy shredding incident], I was convinced that I needed to try this once and for all.

Ok. So what is The Diva Cup? As you can see in the photo, it is a silicone cup that is inserted into the vagina and rests near cervix.

It comes in two sizes, the smaller is more ideal for women under 30 and who have not given birth. The other size is larger and ideally for women over 30 and/or who have given birth. Simple!

The Diva Cup can be worn for up to 12 hours before dumping & cleaning (although heavy days require more frequent dumpings). Inserting it initially was difficult and painful, mostly because I was having a difficult time keeping the “fold” as I was inserting. The more you use it, the easier it is to insert.

Another concern for me was the size of the sucker. It looks large, but after a few wears, I couldn’t even feel it! Remember your first time using tampons? Yeah, this, too, takes time to get used to the “feel” of it.

Removal. To remove, you release the “seal” by squeezing the base of the cup, making the fold, and removing. PLEASE SQUEEZE – I’ve suctioned my vagina and it hurts more than the time my finger got stuck up a vacuum.

Dumping. I’m a post-partum nurse who sees gushes of blood all the time. Even I got a little queezy the first time I dumped a heavy day into the toilet. It’s thick and goopy. After 2-3 dumps I no longer felt nauseated. Just like dating, you will survive your first dumps!

To clean. Use soap and warm water and air dry. The Diva Cup also has a cleanser you can use, but I’m not a sucker for unnecessary products. Soap and water work just fine. I’ve contemplated using a dishwasher, but I don’t think my sister would appreciate that.

The Diva Cup went from a “great” product to a product I cannot live without when I changed the type of birth control pills I was using. My body adjusted slowly, therefore I had an entire month when I was spotting. The Diva Cup was divalicious and I will never go to throwaway feminine hygiene products again.

.x.x.x.x.
Middlest

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5 Responses to “Divalicious!”

  1. Youngest June 18, 2012 at 7:12 pm #

    “Our hormones are out-of-whack and we are expected to go about our day-to-day lives with a positive attitude and smiles on our faces. And we should – having PMS does not give you the right to be a bitch to everyone you pass…”

    Truth.

  2. Kara June 19, 2012 at 3:49 am #

    I am in the bar right now googling the diva cup! And probably going to buy one tomorrow! 🙂

  3. aLi C (@aLiYoOp906) June 19, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    The Diva cup may be fabulous but remember this: When you have company coming over please put that shit away. It’s not a fun what-so-ever to touch something that was in your sister’s vag (washed or not washed) away so guests don’t get disgusted with you…#justsaying

  4. Jake T. June 19, 2012 at 2:55 pm #

    OH! Nice Story?!?!?!

  5. antwan June 20, 2012 at 7:44 am #

    aaahhh feels good !

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