Aside

Coffee Talk with my neighbor Rose

11 May
{Coffee Talk with my Neighbor Rose}
“How’s my favorite girl?”
Before I could answer….
“Do you know why I am here?”
“To get coffee from me?”{Sidenote: She stops by the clubhouse/office every day for coffee}
“That’s right. You make the best coffee everrrrrrr.”
I grab a Styrofoam cup from the cupboard, pour some cold and old coffee into the cup, reheat {One minute}, put one sugar packet in, and stir the shit out of it. Rose then grabs her back stating that her back hurts. She then turns me around, touches my ass stating that it “hurts right around there.” Instead of freaking out/being a spaz {Like I normally would be} I act like she did not violate me by saying “Right about the bum, eh?” Rose nods saying “Yup. I don’t know how I got it. I didn’t do anything or anyone.” She then chuckles to herself, sits on the couch, and starts drinking her coffee through her stirrer.
The next day Rose stops by again for her usual coffee that I “make” for her. While pouring coffee, Rose touched my hair complimenting me on how pretty it was. She then smiled and asked….
“How often to do you wash your hair? Once a week? Once a month?”
“I wash it everyday, Rose.”
“What do you mean EVERYDAY?! Aren’t you afraid it’s going to fall out when you wash it? You need to make sure it all stays ‘attached’….(Thinks a moment) Oh, never mind, you are young. I am old.”
“How’s your little girl?”
“I don’t have a little girl. The little girl that you see here every now and then is Connie’s daughter.”
“Oh. Ok. How’s your husband?”
“I don’t have a husband, Rose.”
{Sidenote: Rose is my neighbor so you would think she would know that I am a spinster}
Rose’s eyes grew quite large and she appeared to be ‘flipping a lid’
“This is the BEST news I have heard all day. You should NEVER get married or have children because you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.”
{Sidenote: This is coming from a woman who WAS married to man she prays for every day at church |he’s dead| and who HAS three children who come to see her all.the.time}
Coffee talk, anyone?
{Sorry I couldn’t get the video to upload on the webpage}
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